Last week I talked about following my own advice to do only what excites you and not attach to doing anything in particular.

I was writing about how I sat down to write a blog post, but it wasn’t coming. After waiting for a bit, it didn’t feel exciting to wait any longer, so I decided to call it off. Then the post came... actually three came.

That’s what non-attachment will do for you. When you have to do something, it’s difficult. When don’t want something to happen or be as it is and you and try to avoid it, it sticks around. The universe is funny like that.

As soon as I didn’t care if I had a blog post, I had three.

As soon as you stop having to leave your awful job, a new opportunity will arrive.

Do what excites you, don’t attach to anything in particular, and you’ll be on the path to the life you are meant to live.

Simple formula that’s way harder to follow than it is to write.
 

Last Monday I suggested that when it comes to work and life, we should only do the things that excite us. I also suggested that some days bookkeeping, billing, and filing actually fall into that category. I wasn’t kidding on either point.

When you do what excites you, you’re following your essential self. Your essential self knows how to get you to where you want to go (even when you don’t know where that is!).

The part of you that knows what makes you smile is the part worth listening to. The part that is afraid or logical isn’t the part of you that leads you to a happy life or a successful business.

I have a friend who, right now, only wants to do yoga and write. That’s it. Now, in this moment, doing those things won’t make a dime for her in her business. But she trusts this part of her to lead her in the right direction. She’s taking care of herself with yoga, and she’s working on a very important book. And she’s trusting it’s the right thing to do, even if her logic mind can’t make sense of it. I believe she’s right on track.

It might sound scary to do only what excites you, but when we follow this path, the universe provides... even if we’re not sure how it will happen.

Put the fear and the “need to know” aside, even if only for one hour or one day or one decision, and see what happens.
 

As I sat down today to write my blog post, I found a dozen other things to do. I was sitting and waiting for the post... (I don’t think about what to write, I wait and let the blog post come to me.)... and I kept getting distracted by other things. I finally decided that today might be a day to skip writing. After all, I always coach my clients, especially the business owners, to not do anything that doesn’t feel good. Today, writing a blog post didn’t feel as good as brainstorming a new idea that I’ve been stewing.

The moment I let go of having to blog today, because that’s what I do, the idea came: I, too, need to follow my own advice.

1. Only do what excites you.

2. Don’t attach to doing anything in particular.

I find the most joy and the most success in my business when I follow those two tips. Before I started operating this way, I was skeptical that I would get all of the things I “had to do” done, like bookkeeping, billing, and filing. However, there are days when those things feel fun, believe it or not.

Skeptical? I’ll write more in the coming posts on doing what feels exciting and not attaching to anything.

In the mean time, see what happens if you focus on what excites you. Report back and let me know how it goes.
 

Monday I wrote about playing bigger. Today I’m sharing my thoughts about facing your fears around playing bigger.

Think about where you are today. Think about where you want to go--if you could be successful no matter what. Imagine heading in that direction. How do you feel?

It’s okay to be scared.

Fear can actually tell you that you’re right on track. Check in. Does the fear feel like jumping into a clear pool of water off a high dive, or does it feel like a high dive into sludge?

Clean pain (clear pool of water) says move forward. Dirty pain (sludge) says clean up your thinking, then reevaluate.

Use The Work to clean up your dirty pain, the thoughts that say, “I’m not good enough to do that.”

If you hear, “Who am I to do this?” answer your own question. Who are you? You’re a strong, beautiful, smart healer or teacher who is here to change the world.

Take small steps.

Just because your five-year vision is clear doesn’t mean you will reach that goal immediately. What can you do today to move toward that vision? Take baby steps.

Start with the easiest things first.

It can be energizing to get moving toward your vision. If fear is holding you back, start with something easy. It might get you excited to keep going. If nothing else, you’re a few steps closer to your goal.

Celebrate your successes.

Every little step you take is worth celebrating. Give yourself a gold star. Call a friend. Do a little dance.

Face you fears and move forward. The world is waiting for you.
 

Last week I was at the Martha Beck Inc. Coaches Summit, a gathering of 140 amazing individuals who are on a mission to heal the world. At the Summit, there were group gatherings, activities, and breakout sessions to help each one of us further our healing in the world. Every single person is passionate about his or her mission for this lifetime.

For me, the summit confirmed some ideas that I’m here to help the healers and teachers get their work out to more people. I want to help them change the world.

At most events throughout the weekend, I saw how the leader or presenter could take steps to show up bigger and impact more people. I would tell a friend about these ideas, then I would stuff them back inside and keep my mouth shut.

I, too, was playing small.

So I faced my fears about showing up bigger and I shared several ideas with the various presenters. I shared from my heart without judgment. Some heard me and saw how they could step up. Others didn’t. It was okay either way. That’s their journey. Sharing with them is mine.

It’s easy to play small, to play it safe. But you’re here for a reason, so step into the shoes you are meant to fill. 
 

Are you focused on the end result, or do you enjoy the process of getting where you want to go?

Whether it’s figuring out what to do with your life or career, taking your business to its next level, or training a puppy, enjoy getting there. Once you are “there,” nothing really changes... except you’ll find a new “there” to go and the process repeats.

I learned this last week in rewriting several pages on my website, and I was reminded by it last night when I saw these irises opening. I love how they look before they have fully blossomed--more than I like them opened all the way. They reminded me to appreciate my own process of unfolding--in life, in my business, and with training our new puppy.

How do you remind yourself to enjoy the process of getting where you want to go?
 

... well, not nothing.

Dinner has been made. The house is clean. That project was completed. Small tasks (or big ones) are checked off the list. We do get things done. But on a grand scale, nothing is ever done.

Tomorrow night, another dinner needs to be made. Next week, the house will be dirty again. There are always more projects.

The same is true with the evolution of ourselves. Eating healthy today needs to be followed by eating healthy tomorrow. Exercising once will not keep a body fit for a lifetime. We don’t make money one day to support us forever (unless you’re a lucky lottery winner, fortunate enough to hold on to your winnings). In the same way, we are never done.

As we grow and change, so do our goals, our dreams, our deepest desires. If we’re in a job we don’t like, we can fall into the trap of saying, “Once I figure out what I want to do with my life, then I can be happy.” Yes, a new job may make you happier. However, once you have that new job, you’ll set your sights on something new. That’s the nature of being human. Continual growth and infinite possibility.

Enjoy where you are right now. Continue to grow and reach for the next thing, yet don’t allow that next thing to keep you form appreciating where you are today.

Take a minute now to notice what you have today that was merely a dream yesterday or last year. Take in the glory of your growth and achievement. You’ve got plenty more coming to you.
 

Is there something you’ve been dreaming about doing but you haven’t acted on yet?
 
Starting a business.
Quitting your job.
Creating a new offering for your clients.
Trying a new hobby or sport.
Pick anything.

Why do you want to do that thing you dream about?
What’s currently stopping you from doing it?

Desires fall into two basic categories:
Those that arise from an external impetus.
Those that arise from our deepest, truest selves.

If your “why you want to do that thing” is something like, “It sounds like a good idea,” or “I should,” or “That’s what my neighbor/friend/competitor is doing,” then your desire is driven from an external impetus.

If your “why” is “I get excited when I think about it,” or “It would be really fun,” then your desire is driven from your deepest, truest self.

If your desire is arising from an external impetus, reconsider that dream. Fulfilling dreams of others is a waste of your time and energy. Focus on what YOU want. Are you afraid to let someone down if you give up that dream? Or can you walk away from it and do something you love?

If your desire is arising from your deepest, truest self, what’s stopping you from moving forward? Are you worried about what other people will think? Are you afraid of failing?

Fear is often at the heart of our stalled intentions.

It's okay.

Feelings like fear are good indicators that you’re headed in the right direction. As Brooke Castillo suggests, feel the fear then use it.

Are you afraid to quit that job you dread and find a career you love? Instead of freezing with fear, use the energy of that fear to propel you into action.

Are you worried that if you try roller derby that you’ll fall flat on your face? Instead of fleeing the track, use it to motivate you to practice.

Are you afraid to give that speech, telling the world what you really think? Use the fear to make you stronger. (And check out Anna Kunnecke, coach and speaker--she had an awesome class last week on combatting stage fright.)

What are you afraid of and how can you use your fear to move you forward?

photo courtesy of chewie2008~ via flickr
 

Earlier this month I mentioned that I choose two focus areas for the month: breathing and money. In the whirlwind of life and the never-ending desires to try new things, setting theses two areas of focus has brought me peace and clarity.

In my five-week class, Taming Your Lizard’s Money Fears, I’m following along with the participants and completing the homework assignments. There’s been a variety of tools and techniques for homework, ranging from using The Work on limiting beliefs to harnessing the power our the right brain.

We often look at something like money, or health, or our weight, or our career, or our love life and say, “Once I get enough of this or meet that goal, then everything will be okay.” What often fail to do is pull back the layers from these desires and see what’s underneath.

Why do we want a certain amount of money or to weigh a particular number or to have a set number of clients or have the perfect job? What do we think that will give us?

When we explore the reasons for these desires, we find clarity about our true desires. Security, acceptance, the knowledge that everything will be okay, a feeling of being loved. It can be anything. We believe that a certain amount of money in the bank will give us security or a number on the scale will make us feel accepted. Since the money and the weight are easy to identify, we reach for those things.

Think about what you want. It can be anything. Now think about why you want it. Pull back the layers from your desire. What is it you are deeply longing for?

Now, imagine that desire is met. Ignore the bank account. Ignore the scale. Ignore the career you abhore. You have safety. Connection. Love. Acceptance. Or whatever it is you are seeking. How do you show up in the world? Describe your day, the interactions you have with others, the feelings in your heart.

Create your future from this place. Drop the desire for a bank account with a particular balance. Step into the feeling of having your true needs met. This is how you can really get what it is you truly want.
 

Listen to your heart.

I know how easy it can be to get wrapped up in doing the “right next thing” in searching for a new career or building my business or working toward any goal. We look toward the logical next step. We believe that if we follow the steps 1-2-3 we’ll get exactly where we want to go.

Rarely does anything work like that, except maybe baking cookies.

Think about a goal or something you’ve accomplished in your life. When you set out to achieve it, was it a simple 1-2-3 process, or did you take some detours and unexpected turns along the way?

Sometimes, the next step on the way to finding a job you love is to go for a walk in the middle of the day. It may not be logical, but your true, creative, essential self knows that it serves you better to go for a walk then to sit and work on your resume.

The next step for building your business may be to take a long bath, have a good cry, play with watercolors, or make faces with your food. Your logical mind can’t explain it--and it never will be able to, but your true, creative essential self knows exactly what you need to do to get to your goal.

Next time you’re not sure if you should take this step, that step, or turn left, check in with your heart.

Get quiet.

Take a few deep breaths.

Ask your heart what is next for you. It knows.

Listen and follow. What you hear may not be logical. It doesn’t have to be. If your logical mind were all you needed to get what you want, you’d already have exactly what you wanted.

Check in with your heart today. What does it say is next for you?
 
photo courtesy of ilmungo via flickr