I am!

I had the pleasure of being at the Martha Beck Coaches Summit in Keystone, Colorado, for the past 4 days. What fun!

Today is my chill day. Four days of "work" (a.k.a. crazy fun), and now a day of rest.

How about you? Can you cut out of work early, take a day off, play hooky, and rejuvenate. You deserve it!
 

When I feel overwhelmed, I repeat this mantra to calm me down and bring the current moment into focus.

Everything that needs to get done will get done, easily and efficiently.

It works.

And I wouldn’t even call myself a mantra person.

Try it out, and let me know how it works for you.
 

Do you ever say, “Once I get or do [this thing], then I’ll take a break,” or something like that?

This is a common theme for me. I had a long list of deadlines for last week, and I saw that I was putting off taking a break until they were done.

When I made it through the list, the realization hit me that I was done. I took a few deep breaths, then I looked for the next thing to do.

Then I stopped myself. I noticed my accomplishments. I remembered my delayed break.

I took a few more deep breaths.

I said, “Now take that break you said you were delaying until you got it all done.” (Like a stern yet loving mother may say.)

And I did.

I relaxed, I read, I wrote, and I spent time sitting quietly. I enjoyed the break and reveled in my accomplishments. I laughed at how quickly they all got done, especially considering my frenzied moments earlier in the week.

I’ve committed to LISTEN and to ALLOW this year. I’m not embodying these words all the time, but on days like this one, I am one step closer. And that’s what matters.
 

Do you have any unwanted patterns in your life? You know, those rituals, cycles, routines, and habits that you wish you could break?

Here’s one way to start making some changes.

Identify your unwanted pattern. Then ask yourself,

“What is my payoff for keeping this pattern going?”

By identifying your payoff, you can see what it is you’re avoiding.

For me, I can easily keep myself too busy. My payoff for staying too busy is that I don’t have to check in and see if I’m happy. I also don’t have to evaluate whether or not I’m doing what I really want to do. If I discovered that I’m not happy and I want to be doing something different, I may have to make a change. And that change might be hard. [Gulp. No wonder I keep myself busy!]

Here are two other examples as to how this may play out:

For people who overeat, one payoff is that they can stuff their emotions with food and avoid feeling their feelings.

For people who try to “fix” other people who are angry or upset, a payoff could be that they can avoid feeling the discomfort of seeing others unhappy.

Look at your pattern straight in the eyes.

As someone with a stay-busy tendency, I need to notice when I’m busy and stop to ask, “How do I feel right now? What do I really want to be doing?”

For an overeater: Notice when you are using food to avoid feeling an emotion, and ask “What am I really feeling?” Also consider what thoughts are causing those feelings.

For a “fixer”: Notice when you are trying to influence another’s emotions. Ask, “Why do I want to make them feel better?” Also notice your own thoughts and emotions.

Listen to the answers and act accordingly.

Once we see what we’re avoiding and ask the tough questions, we need to listen to the answers and act accordingly.

When I asked my two questions last week, I discovered that I was mentally drained, and I wanted to do nothing all weekend.

For an overeater: Maybe you notice that you are sad about something. Why are you sad? What can you change in your life to start to feel better?

For a “fixer”: Maybe you want to make another feel better because you feel guilty about their unhappiness. Why is it your job to make them happy? What can you do to take care of yourself instead?

Follow through.

I listened to the answers I found within and had an lazy weekend all to myself. The result: I am feeling a little more rested and rejuvenated for the week ahead.

Identifying the underlying reasons for our patterns helps us find the wisdom and compassion to take care of ourselves.

What patterns have you found in your life? What did you do to make a change?
 

This is the third of three posts where I share a method for deciding what to do and not to do when your to-do list is too long.

I saved the best for last. This is my personal favorite!

Trust Your Body

This method is perfect for anyone who wants to feel good when getting through to-do tasks. Every time I teach a client this method, they are pleased when they put it to use in their life. Try it for yourself!

1. Establish your baseline. Give yourself a few minutes to complete this step--it’s absolutely necessary and totally worth the time.

a. Sit comfortably and relax your body. Close your eyes. Pull up the worst memory you have from your life. Imagine you are in that moment--experience it as if you are there.

b. Feel the sensations in your body as you experience that memory. Describe them with words. It could be that your chest feels tight, your stomach is in a knot, and your throat feels closed up. Be as detailed as possible.

c. Give this overall feeling a name and give it a number, on a scale from -10 (as awful as you can image feeling) to +10 (the best you can imagine feeling).

d. Repeat steps a, b, and c using the best memory you have from your life. Imagine it, feel the sensations, describe the sensations with words, give it a name and give it a number from -10 to +10.

e. Now you have your body compass scale from the negative range through the positive range.

2. Rank your to-do list. For every item on your to-do list, rank it using your body compass scale. Imagine yourself doing the task, and feel the sensations in your body. Record the number associated with the task, somewhere from -10 to +10. Listen to what your body is saying, not what your mind thinks the number should be.

3. Do what feels best. Begin working on the task that received the highest rating on your scale. I recommend not doing anything that feels like a negative number--unless you want to feel awful.

4. Play with it. Play around with this idea for a week or two and notice what happens. For me, when I use this method to work through my list, I always feel good, and I seem to accomplish more than when I listen to what my mind wants me to do. Test it out and see what you find to be true for you.

When you feel like there is not enough time in the day, focus on what feels good to you. Your body, your emotions, and your family will thank you!

This is the second of three posts where I share a method for deciding what to do and not to do when your to-do list is too long.

Do What’s Easiest

This method is great when you feel like you’re “not getting anything done” and want to get some momentum going.

1. Consider time. Mark each item with the time necessary to complete it (or your best estimate).

2. Consider effort. Mark each item with Easy, Medium, or Difficult, according to the effort required to accomplish it.

3. Line ‘em up. Number your list from 1 to N, with 1 being the shortest and easiest task and N being the longest and most difficult item.

4. Get to work. Start with number one and move down the list.

When you feel like there is not enough time in the day and you aren’t getting anywhere, focus on the tasks that will give you a sense of completion and forward momentum. Sometimes we need a little kick-start like this to help us more on to more challenging tasks.

If you’re like a lot of people I know, you’ve got a to-do list that’s a mile long, your day is jam-packed, and you’ve got a million people needing something from you.

Whew! That’s exhausting to type!

This is the first of three posts where I share a method for deciding what to do and not to do when your task list is too long.
 

Quick ‘n Dirty Post-it Prioritization Method

This is a great way to quickly arrange your to-do list.

This method is excellent for people who are visual. It’s also helpful when you feel like everything and everyone is important, and it paralyzes you from getting anything done.

1. Categorize. List your major life categories, put them on post-its, and stick them in order on a door or blank wall space.

2. Itemize. Write your to-do items on post-its and then group them accordingly.

3. First-pass prioritization. Now, your to-do list is roughly in priority order. If something doesn’t sit right with you, rearrange it.

4. Refine. Figure out how much time you have to get your to-do items done, then cut the list off where you will run out of time.

When you feel like there is not enough time in the day, focus on your own priorities and do what matters most to you. Know that you’re making progress the best you can!

Is your life too complicated? Check your reality against Monday’s quiz.

Are you ready to take things down a notch? Try these seven tips.

1. Say “no” to one thing every day.

2. Leave work at work.

3. Ask for help--don’t do it all yourself.

4. A few times every day, take a moment to take a few deep breaths.

5. Make time to go to bed early.

6. When you cook, make extra. Leftovers are a quick and easy meal for tomorrow.

7. Throw away, recycle, or donate the things you don’t need. Clutter in the house creates clutter in the mind.

Every day, pick one or more of these tips to uncomplicate your life. Slowly and surely, things will simplify.

What other suggestions do you have for uncomplicating life?

It seems like everyone is far too busy. Too many things going on, places to be, details to remember, things to do. Are you wondering if this is all “normal,” or if things are too complicated? Check your reality against this list.

Answer True or False to the following statements.

1. I don’t sleep at least seven hours every night.

2. I can’t remember the last time I took at least seven hours just for myself, for fun.

3. My calendar is double or triple-booked at least once every seven days.

4. There are items on my to-do list that have been there for at least seven weeks, and I am showing no signs of making progress on them.

5. The last seven days were such a blur that I can’t remember what I did or who I saw.

6. My list of reasons “I don’t have time to exercise because...” is more than seven excuses long.

7. I can’t imagine sitting quietly and doing nothing for seven minutes .

If you answered True to more than one of the previous statements, your life may be too complicated.

How are you holding up?

Are you ready to take things down a notch? Stay tuned for seven ways to uncomplicate your life in Thursday’s post.

How complicated is your life?