Change happens. We lose part of ourselves. Then we find a new way.

Heading in a new direction is like following a trail of breadcrumbs. We do not know the end destination, yet we can just barely see the next step. Each crumb we find offers us new information about our destination.

For some, this slow revealing is a fun adventure. For others, the mystery is agonizing. Whichever your disposition, know that the process of noticing your new information and narrowing in on your target is essential for arriving at your destination. Otherwise, you’d stop short of where you’re supposed to end up.

As you set out on your new way, write out what you know about where you’re headed--this can also include where you know you’re not headed. At the beginning, you won’t have much--that’s okay. Slowly you’ll find clarity.

Each time you find a bread crumb, add to, delete from, refine, and rewrite what you know. Notice what you can from each crumb. When you’ve gathered all you can from it, search for the next crumb.

Enjoy the journey. It’s an adventure to a yet-to-be-revealed destination. Trust that your true self knows how to find the way and the process of its unveiling is divinely timed.

Photo courtesy of Storm Crypt via Flickr

When change happens, you lose one identity and make space for a new one to emerge. If the loss of your old identity was fully grieved, then you will have plenty of space for something wonderful to emerge.

You’ll feel it in your heart that it’s time for something new. You won’t have to look for that something new--it will find you. You will feel a sense of possibility, hope, and excitement. Ideas will arrive in floods and a smile will return to your face.

If you haven’t fully grieved your loss, you may still find a new identity, but it will feel forced and firm, as opposed to inspired and soft. We often look for a new identity to escape the pain of our loss--yet seeking and jumping to a new identity too soon results in dissatisfaction and repressed grief in the long run.

Your heart will tell you it’s time for a new direction. You will find delight in the sense of newness you feel in the world. Enjoy the excitement from the possibilities you see.

Finding a new way is a process of uncovering. Don’t jump on every idea you have. Roll them over in your mind, let them simmer, and let your imagination run wild.

When you have a firm knowing in your whole being, you will have found your new identity. This firm knowing does not come from your head, it comes from deep within your heart and soul.
 

One of the most challenging steps in navigating change is the first one: letting go of our identity. Change in our lives signal the loss of a part of who we are. For something new to come into our lives, something else has to die.

If you lose your job at The Corporation, you also lose your identity as an employee there. If you move to a new city, you lose your identity as a resident of your prior city.

This seems like an obvious and simple concept, yet I find many people brush aside the significance of their identity loss. Many say, “Yup, that part’s gone,” without truly acknowledging the hole it creates within them.

To successfully transition into a new identity, we need to grieve the loss of our old one. The logical part of the mind thinks that grief is foolish and a waste of time. We say things like “Why bother?” and “No use crying over spilt milk.” But grief is essential. Feel the hole inside your body. Cry, scream, shout, stomp, and grumble. Releasing the emotions associated with your loss allows something new to be born.

Our tendency is to quickly get past the pain or pretend it’s insignificant. Resisting the reality of your identity loss will eventually cause more pain and make your transition to a new identity take longer. You can make it through the painful patch and over to the other side--give it time.

Allow the old identity to die and leave a hole, even though it hurts. From that hole, a new identity will soon be born. From a clear, seemingly empty hole, something better will grow.

photo courtesy of Dizzy Girl via Flickr
 

Tonight I’m running a workshop entitled Taking Charge of Change. My main message is simple:

No matter what change is initiated in your life, you can be in charge.

Sometimes we choose change and sometimes change is chosen for us. Change can come on suddenly or gradually.

Martha Beck says that changes initiate in three ways: opportunities, shocks, and transitions.

Opportunities are changes we choose and are usually perceived as positive, such as a promotion or buying a new home.

Shocks are surprises. Winning the lottery would be perceived as a positive one, and suddenly losing a loved one would be perceived as negative.

Transitions are gradual, internal shifts that stem from an inner yearning.

The way in which change is initiated often dictates our response. We tend to feel victimized by changes we don’t choose and empowered by changes we do choose.

However, we can own our response to any change. We can take what life gives us and decide what to do with it. As the old adage goes, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Yes, this is more easier said than done, but it’s possible.

Check back on Monday for more discussion on change and tips and tricks to feel empowered (rather than victimized).

Photo courtesy of Bogdan Suditu on Flickr under a creative commons license.
 

It is your soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion. --Dame Rebecca West

Do you believe you exist for a reason? Do you have a purpose or a mission?

I’ve come to believe that we all have a purpose for being on this planet. I don’t believe that purpose has to be something big and grand and complicated. For some people, it may be like that, but for another, her purpose could be “being a mother to these children.”

Back when I realized my life was headed in a direction that was not aligned with my true self, I began pondering this question of purpose. I’ve read various books on the philosophy of purpose. Each has given me a piece of the puzzle, but I know that the real answer will come from within me.

Last week I took a huge leap towards recognizing my purpose. I’ve pieced this together:

I am here to enable the right-brained, creative, spiritual, mission-driven healers and teachers of this world to get their work and healing out to whom they are here to serve.

There’s more to my purpose and mission than that, but the cards are still hidden. I have more to learn and uncover.

I’m curious. Do you believe you are here for a reason (even if you don’t know what it is)? Do you have a purpose or a mission? Please share.

Sunday, January 24 is National Compliment Day.

Instead of a typical post, I’m going to share a few compliments.

Please join me and post yours here. Compliment anyone you like. Putting good words out into the Universe, especially in a public way, is a great way to magnify love and gratitude.

Here are mine.

Jen, I think you’re a fantastic coach, so supportive and encouraging. You helped me unearth some lost magic and hidden desires from within myself. You are kind, patient, supportive, and generous. You are a fabulous friend who I am so grateful to know.

Katrina, you are a great listener and an inspiring artist. Although we are currently separated by 6000 miles, you always are here for me. You listen to my wild stories with an open mind. You even help me with some website stuff, like my awesome logo and that beautiful Email-RSS subscribe button on the right. Thanks for being my friend!

Nicole, I love your art. I love your blog. I love the little bits of inspiration I find in what you do. You are open and authentic with your art and your process. I got hooked during your Quit Your Day Job Celebration and been loving your work every since.

Anna, you crack me up. Your blog is one of the first I read in the morning. I love Manatees, and I love that you can be so YOU. I hope to be lucky enough to meet your sweet little girl one of these days. Thank you for your YOUness because it is a true source of inspiration for me.

I could write so many more compliments here. Check back. I'll add them throughout the day. If you aren't listed here, it's not personal. I love you, too.

Please add yours.

Laughter provides a door to your soul so that you can forget your troubles, even for a moment; and you clear away negativity, confusion, and mind chatter. --Sonia Choquette (Trust Your Vibes)

The more stressful, dangerous, baffling, or unpleasant your situation, the more important it is to laugh at it. --Martha Beck (The Joy Diet)

Laugh at yourself and at life, and nothing can touch you. --Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life)

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. --E.E. Cummings

Seven days without laughter makes one weak. --Mort Walker

I’m not much of a cat person, but search “funny cat” on YouTube and you’ll find some funny results. Here’s one that got me laughing.

Have you seen this baby with the evil eye? I think he’s a hoot!

What do you find funny? Share it here. We can all use more laughs!

Until recently, I haven’t been what I would consider to be an affirmations person. They always felt forced. I felt like I was lying.

Something changed recently, and I’m not sure what it was. What I do know is that now and then I can throw around a few positively optimistic phrases (which do not represent my reality as I see it) and feel good about it.

I’ve picked up a few lately about money, health, and life in general. I repeat them in the shower, while driving, and in my notebook, whenever the time feels right.

I’m curious, are you an affirmations person? How do you go about it?
 

You can now subscribe to this blog via email, in addition to subscribing in a reader.

Just click the orange mail icon on the right and it will send you to the subscription page. Once you subscribe, you'll need to verify your subscription. Then the blog posts will be sent directly to your Inbox.

Yipee!!
 

Do you ever say, “Once I get or do [this thing], then I’ll take a break,” or something like that?

This is a common theme for me. I had a long list of deadlines for last week, and I saw that I was putting off taking a break until they were done.

When I made it through the list, the realization hit me that I was done. I took a few deep breaths, then I looked for the next thing to do.

Then I stopped myself. I noticed my accomplishments. I remembered my delayed break.

I took a few more deep breaths.

I said, “Now take that break you said you were delaying until you got it all done.” (Like a stern yet loving mother may say.)

And I did.

I relaxed, I read, I wrote, and I spent time sitting quietly. I enjoyed the break and reveled in my accomplishments. I laughed at how quickly they all got done, especially considering my frenzied moments earlier in the week.

I’ve committed to LISTEN and to ALLOW this year. I’m not embodying these words all the time, but on days like this one, I am one step closer. And that’s what matters.